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                        Teacher's Day SMS


Children are natural mimic who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

 

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life.

 

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the teacher.

 

Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

 

Some questions to ask your teacher:

 

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of its bottle?
 Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
 Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
 Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
 Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
 If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
 If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
 If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
 If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
 If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
 If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
 Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
 How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
 You know how most packages say "Open here"? What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
 You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
 What do you plant to grow a seedless watermelon?
 When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

 

Teacher's Day Joke
On a special Teacher's Day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving Teacher Day gifts. The Florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it and held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is....some flowers." "That's right!" said the boy. "But how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy storeowner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy." "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor storeowner's son. The teacher held it over her head but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!"

I didn't do it!
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do. "The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."

Short Teachers Humor:
Here are some short funny teachers jokes expressing teacher's humor.

Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me ?

Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?
Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines!

Why was the head teacher worried?
Because there were so many rulers in the school!

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?
Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Someone else's pants".

The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"

Teacher: Johnny, you know you can't sleep in my class.
Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could

"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.

"Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
"No."
"I'm the principal's daughter."

"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank goodness!"


"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"


Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"


Teacher: Tim, you missed school yesterday, didn't you?
Tim: Not a bit!
If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."


The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."


The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, "What do you like best about it, class? Let's start with you, Robert."
"The artwork," says Robert.
"Very good. And you, Peter?"
"Her tits!" says Peter.
"Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall," responds the teacher with disgust. "And you, Johnny?"
"I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving..."

Teacher: How do you spell "dog"?
Pupil: d, o, g, enter.


"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."


A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."