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                Funny SMS/Short Jokes

Shantu: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Riksha wala: 50..
Shantu 20 lelo..
Riksha wala: 20 main kon le k jaayeega??
Shantu: tum piche bheto hum le ke jaayega..

Q:- Why does Shantu always smile during lightning storms?

A:- He think  picture is bseing taken.

 

life is heaven when you have American salary, Indian wife German car and Chinese food, life is a hell when u have American wife, Indian salary, Chinese car and German food.

 

5 great people: 1.Bapu, woh to ab rahe nahi 2.Saurav Ganguly, woh kisi kaam ka nahi, 3.Aishwarya Rai, apni pohanch say bahir. Baqi rahe aap aur hum So keep in Touch

Keep.....................IN TOUCH WID ME.....OTHERWISE............................1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 ALL..........UR TEETH WILL B BROKEN!

A Shantu  pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

 

I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others

 

Thandi hawa chal rahi hai. Parinday sorahai hain. zaheen log sms likhe rahay hain aur bewqoof sms parh rahay hain.

 

Do you know your 1 smile can make 100 peoples die, so u can decrease this over population, so baby, please keep on smiling.

 

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket

 

Question: Why did 18 Pakis
go to a movie?

Answer: Because below 18
was not allowed.

 

Shantu  falls
in Love with a Nurse.

He writes a love letter to the Nurse :-
I Love U sister….

 

 

Khidiki se dekha to rasta per koi nahi tha.Wah wah!
Khidiki se dekha to rasta per koi nahi tha.

Raste pe jaa kar dekha to khidiki pe koi nahi tha.

 

 

Shantu’s Leave application

Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.

 

 

Shantu: Bara dukh howa si teri wife di
mout ki khabar sunker, wase hoya ki si?

Bantu : Goli lagi si matthe vich.

Shantu: Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai.

 

 

Shantu: bhagwan mujhey dard day dukh day
tension day mujhey barbaad ker day, meray peechay bhoot laga day.

Bhagwan: abay salay aik line main bool biwi chahiye

 

 

Do U know why a Shantu kept
the door open while taking a bath?

Because he was scared that someone
might see through the “KEY HOLE”.

 

 

Shantu AND Bantu lookin at an Egyptian mummy.

Shantu:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case hai.

Bantu: Aaho, truck number bhi likha hay, BC-1760

 

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of loan payments

 

Wana know if ur friend is intrested in u? when she is in kitchen slap at her back. if she smiles then congratulation. If looks back Angrily than shout Bhen Dar Gayee

 

A Shantu went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and
slapped the operator twice. why ?

bcoz there it was written
“Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain”

 

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!

Shantu : Yes it’s really strange.
I’ve got another pair of the same at home.

 

Shantu: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun
to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.

Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Shantu: Phone karte waqt.

 

Shantu opens his lunch box in the middle of the road….why ?

Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office

 

Nurse - “Mubarak ho.. pathan.. tusse papa ban gaye..”
pathan- ” Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usey SURPRISE doonga..!”

 

How can a Paki Kill a Lion ?

 Paki thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion:
I’ll drink poison and let lion eat me.

 

How do you recognize a Paki in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

 

Shantu told his servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant:  Sir,it’s already raining.

Shantu: So what? Take an umbrella and go.